Living as my authentic self

I'm not really sure how it all started but the conversation I overheard on the train went something like this:

BOY: "So how long have you been single for?"
GIRL: "About 6 months now I think"
BOY: "You know why don't you?"
GIRL: "I'm guessing you're going to enlighten me"
BOY: "Don't be like that, I'm just trying to help you get laid"
GIRL: "Maybe I want more than just that, did you think of that?"
BOY: "Yeah, well either way, you're not getting any cause guys don't like girls who are fake."
GIRL: "You're telling me I'm fake?!!!" (she has more patience than me, I would have told him where to get off by now!)
BOY: "Well, you're always wearing too much make up and colouring your hair, guys like girls to look natural."
GIRL:"But I like doing this stuff."
BOY: "Hey I'm just trying to help"

I didn't really want to hear any more of that conversation!

Of course, that conversation resonated with me because I am one of those girls who likes to colour her hair and wear make up.

I let the conversation slip from my mind after that, but then it came back to me as I got ready to go and see Mum and Nan tonight. In the 5 minute walk from my front door to Nan's there was a very good chance that I wasn't going to see another soul, so did I really need a full face of make up and my hair done?

Well the answer to that is of course not, if I was going to the gym I'd be make up free, if I was just hanging around home by myself I wouldn't put on my face, but was there anything wrong with going out and feeling my best? No, the answer to that is of course not as well.

But it made me think of that conversation again. I know a lot of men say they like a woman to look natural, but do they really? Or do they really want us to look like the 'natural' beauties they see in magazines and on the t.v.? The girls who if the boys really knew the truth would know that the 'natural' look they so covet is a complex mix of make up techniques to make you look flawless and like you are wearing no make up at all!

I've never been a girl who has changed her look to get a man. Oh sure I've followed trends over the years and I'll try to dress for the occasion and location, but I've not been anything other than authentic in the way I've worn those clothes or done my hair and my make up. I love fashion and finding new trends. Right now I'm fascinated with pin ups and love doing my hair in 1940's victory rolls and doing my make up with heavy foundation, cats eyes and red lips. But I'm dressing like that and playing with my make up because I love it and its part of who I am. I've always loved make up since I was a teenager and my sister Sue worked for Estee Lauder. She'd bring me home testers and I'd experiment with my 'look' and I haven't changed that habit at all. In fact I have more make up than I can poke a stick at!

If a boy is going to decide not to date me because I wear make up, then is that really a boy I would want to date in the first place?

I know lots of girls that don't wear make up and don't mind that their greys are on show. I know equally as many that like me, aren't quite ready to give up the hair dye!

Just because I'm a full face and hair done girl it doesn't mean I've got anything against the make up free or the grey streaked, and I don't think any of us, no matter which look we embrace should change who we are for anyone else.

As long as you embrace what works for you and live your authenticity then the rest of the world can go get lost.

The authentic Danielle is the girl with the make up and the coloured hair, with the unique style and she's happy with that. So if a boy wants to date the real me, then that's the packaging he gets -anything else would just be a lie.

Ms Noir xxx